The Idiot

I found a book to "read" (more like listen to when I'm not supposed to be doing other things...)

It's called The Idiot by John Kendrick Bangs.

This is a quote from the description: "His brand of creative thought is dismissed as foolishness yet it continues to get under their skin, because when you're beneath contempt you can say what you please."

Sounds like a fun read, I mean, listen.

In Case You Haven't Heard

I am going back to school in January. It's official. I told my boss I am leaving. I have a plane ticket, a place to live, classes scheduled, and my first (and last) student loan all prepped and ready.

I love it here, and while I wish that I wasn't leaving much of the time, I know that I need to go now. I am going back with a firm resolve to get in and get out as quickly as I possibly can. And I am going to enjoy every minute of it.

Dear Stalkers

Dear Stalkers,

Lately, I have had a surprisingly high number of creepy men attach themselves to me. Not saying that you are one of them, but you may well be one. Please take note, I am not enjoying this attention. Not one bit. It's disturbing.

Just because I smile, does not mean I want to carry your children in my womb. It means I am happy and you happened to be in my line of sight. I do not fantasize about you. I do not long for your warm embrace. And I most certainly NEVER want you to corner me in elevators when I am alone EVER again. Yes this has been happening. My bosses will not let me go across the street by myself. Thank you.

Simply because I am not married or that I work Monday through Friday does NOT mean that I am desperate for a man or your so-called stature to look after me. I can, and do, take care of myself. I do not want you, you strange stranger of a man. I do not want to plan my Saturdays enjoying your sleazy company. Please stay away.

When I have my ear buds in and am facing purposefully AWAY from you, I do NOT want to talk to you. I was not asking you to promptly tap tap tap me on the shoulder and proceed to tell me how I shouldn't listen to whatever it was that I was listening to because it was too sweet and would rot my brain out. I will never listen to any type of music that involves "Bambi and the Satanites." And I do NOT want you to tell me that you don't like the fact that I am even listening to music at all because it would make it too easy for you to follow me off the bus and grab me in the dark and I would never see it coming. Thank you, but no. I am now afraid of the bus at night. I do not want other people to be afraid of you for my sake.

While I am at work I do not want you leer at me as I walk down the hall. I do not want you to stare at me through window wall in front of my desk. And yes I mean you, scary blonde butch woman. No matter how many times you flip your hair and wink at me, I will not be interested.

It is never attractive when you YELL at me down the street because I smiled and you said "How you doin" and I pretended like I didn't speak English. That or just walked away. Personally, I feel like it is inappropriate. When did "how you doin?" or "sup" become a way to flirt? Also, please do not think that I am going to jump you when you do the head nod. Just because you seem to be on the same bathroom schedule as I am, does not mean that I am waiting for you.

I don't know where all of these creepy and borderline insane men are coming from. But please know, your advances are unwelcome. I am not interested.

Sincerely,

Ruthie

On the other hand, I still like men. Just make sure I don't have nightmares about you before you give me the "head nod."

Twitters Times

This is how I feel today:

Squished. And a little overwhelmed.

Halloween

Here's a tiny update (really tiny, I'm tired). Halloween was so much fun!

Molly was a tornado! I was a flower! Here's a picture!

We had fun carving a pumpkin too! It was puking! Here's a picture!

Halloween Night we had friends over for scary stories and creepy food. I had nightmares.

More to follow!

The Sarge Says...

Day 2 of the Sarge Program:

I survived! And I am not so painfully sore! We did mostly lower body again today. There is one part of the workout that is especially funny. Calisthenics. While we are up against a wall and as we are pumping our calves within an inch of life, our Sarge jokes about how he does these exercises to look good in his 6 inch heals. I'm not sure that I would want 6 inch heals anymore, but I do want to look dang good in boots like these. By the end of the month, I think I will.

The Sarge

"Listen up! Your Sergeant is going to hold your hand and kick you in the rear every day to get you in shape. We call it tough love. Our program will jump-start your day and tone your butt, you’ll have a blast, and you’ll learn to take care of your body. After a few weeks with us, you’ll walk taller and see your gut shrinking in the mirror. We’ll see you soon or more of you later."

This was the blurb my overindulged eyes landed on tonight as I explored what I had just been talked into by my sweet sister.

I cannot believe that I just signed up for this. One full month of butt kicking, sweat-inducing, hardcore workouts. 5 days a week. I am slightly intimidated, but really excited! I may die a little the first week, but I know it will be great. My hind end will be a high end again!

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

Hair is so tricky. Some days it looks good, other days it's kind of blech, and on those rare occasions... you look like a rock star. Recently, I have been caught in a run of those "blech" hair days. So, I cut it. All. Off. I had been thinking about cutting my hair in stages, you know, shoulder length first, then shorter later. That isn't exactly how it happened though.

Last Tuesday, I woke up with a start, realizing that I had approximately 10 minutes before I needed to be at the bus stop. I smelled to high heavens since I had worked my patooti off the night before running and exercising (I have been falling asleep as soon as I get to my bedroom lately). I had to shower. I busted out an outfit and hurtled myself into the water. Did the fastest shampoo job in the history of my hair, shut the water off, dove into my clothes, stuffed makeup in my purse and grabbed a towel to dry my drenched hair on the way. While I was drying my hair at the bus stop, I realized how ridiculous the situation was. I had super long hair that was sopping wet, making my clothes sopping wet. I looked like I had hopped out of the washing machine with no time for a hop in the dryer.

On the way to work my hair kept getting caught underneath my purse strap and I kept having to yank it out from underneath. This was quite the process as I am neither a light traveler or a highly coordinated person. Luckily I was sitting for part of the time.

When I got to work, still dripping wet and my shirt now a little more sheer than was intended (it was white...) I sat down at my desk. My hair flopped and flipped and dripped and dried. I was sick of it. I had a ribbon in my hair and that was probably the only cute thing about it. I was done. I looked up haircuts, some semi-short ones, and then I looked up super-short hairstyles and stumbled upon an the article that empowered me to take my hair and my life back into my own hands. I was not going to be stopped.

My dear friend Hailey was moving in with us that night, and I asked her if she would cut it right away. She was quite obliging, and pretty excited.

After we got her all settled in that night, we set to choppin' my hair off.

The last picture of my hair dry didn't seem to get saved on the camera, but here is a picture of it long and wet!

I decided to go big and donate my hair to Locks of Love. Hailey put my hair into 3 ponytails so all of the hair could be used. Each one was about 10 inches in length. She just chopped those suckers right off! (I'll admit, I freaked out a little bit. But after that, I was pumped!)

Hailey just kept cutting and cutting and cutting! She was so good! After that first ponytail went down I knew I was going to be super happy with my hair!

Here's me with my ponytails!

And today I actually styled my hair! I absolutely love it! It took everyone a while to recognize me! I am so happy! I feel like myself again, just hotter.

In Other News

Since both of my most recent posts have been about food, how much I love food, how I love to make food, how I love to eat food, how I love to make others eat food (subsequently getting plump), and how I wish I could eat more food, I thought I would tell you something that is not food related.


Molly and I are running! I am pretty slow. But I am getting faster and I don't feel like I am going to die anymore! It's great! And, we have a goal!

And our goal is....






The Disney Princess Half Marathon! In February! In Disneyworld!

Yes, it is a lofty goal for me. But I am going to do it. And hot dang, I am going to look great doing it. 13.1 miles, here I come! (If you want to run with us, we would love to have you! There's also a Royal Family 5k... hint hint...)

Snack Time

As I was sitting in my office at work today, it suddenly became snack time. I pulled open the second desk drawer down and popped out a pudding cup. It was delicious. Thank you Target for having a sale on pudding cups.

Unfortunately, my pudding cup was gone far too quickly. My blissful moment of creamy chocolate was over.

And so, I plead to you, Makers of Pudding Cups, please make them just a little bit bigger, for me? Oh won't you please?

Or make my mouth smaller, but that won't happen, will it.

Karl... I mean Farl

Saturday, my lovely sister Molly and I decided it was time for a trip to the bookstore. So we went. We browsed and browsed and browsed some more. Keep in mind, some Christmas wishes were made. Whether they were for us or not, I will let you use your imagination.

My purchase of the day was 100 Great Breads by Paul Hollywood. Delectable looking, yes, I know. Anyway, as I meandered around the rest of the store with this book in tow, I kept hugging it and drooling over it and thinking how fat and happy I could make everyone that I know. It's my new hobby.

I decided before I got out of the store which bread recipe I was going to attempt that night. After a lot of internal struggling, I finally settled on Farl. You heard me. Farl. (Although I did forget what it was called and told my roommate that I made Karl and she should try some. That's probably why she hasn't had any yet...) Farl is an old English loaf. They knew how to eat.

Now Breezi, this part is for you. In true (almost true) blogger fashion, I documented most of my bread making experience!

Recipe:

• scant 4 cups white bread flour, plus extra for dusting
• 1 tablespoon salt
• 1 oz/ 30 g yeast - turns out, that is 10 teaspoons of yeast...
• scant 2/3 cup stick butter, softened
• 1 1/4 cups water

makes one large loaf

(seriously, how could I resist this book?)

(This is the page the recipe is on. I am apparently looming over the page casting quite the shadow)

Step 1: Put all the ingredients into a bowl and mix for 4 minutes. (I read in the book that you don't actually have to dissolve yeast in warm water first. The slower bread rises the more flavor it has! You can even let it rise in the refrigerator!)

Step 2: Tip out onto a lightly floured counter and knead for 5 minutes, or until smooth and pliable. (I didn't really do this for 5 minutes... Actually I may have forgotten to do that part altogether. I know I let it rise though!) Let the dough stand in the bowl to rise for 1 hour. (It literally doubles in size!)

Step 3: Line a baking sheet. (I just greased one. It worked great.) Tip the dough out onto your floured counter and shape into a ball then flatten into a circle about 2 inches thick. Put on the baking sheet and let rise for 1 hour. (Again, it got considerably chubbier.)

Step 4: Preheat the oven to 425 degrees Fahrenheit/220 degrees Celsius. In case you were wondering. Cover the top of the dough with flour and, starting with the middle, make vertical slashes down the dough all the way round. Bake in the over for 30 minutes, then transfer to a wire rack to cool. (It's that easy!)

My cutting vertical slashes weren't as pretty as the pictures but I am determined to make pretty gashes in bread before I am through with all of these recipes! And, I intend to make each and every bread recipe.

So, this bread is pretty good. It was delicious right out of the oven with a little spray butter, because that's how I roll, and a glob of jelly!

And that's Farl. Yum.

Blogabore

I would like to apologize for being a bore these last few months. Rest assured I only appear boring on the internet. My life is full. And fun. I do stuff, okay!

Anyway, you may expect new posts and wild and crazy updates soon!

Yours Always,

Ruthie K

The Here and Now

Now that all my important secrets are safe, I can finally post things that I've been doing!

First off, I'm in the D.C. area! I originally came out here to stay with Molly for the summer to frolic and play and get my fill of the East Coast (how could you ever get your fill, really though?) and work until I had to go back to school at BYU. But as fate and a few unforseen turn of events would have it, I have decided to stay! Now, don't get me wrong, I miss my wonderful friends and my wonderful brother back in Utah, but, I'm happy here. And that is pretty great. Not gonna lie.

I'm working at the lovely and glamorous "Presidential Bank" in Bethesda, MD! My job is as boring as dirt, but it pays well and the people I work with are spectacular and nice. Hopefully one day I will get out of my office for more than 5 minutes to play with them. Everyone else seems to have a lot of extra time on their hands... I wonder where mine went.

A few weeks ago, I did the unexpected. I went camping! With a bunch of people from the ward! It was really fun, and I didn't die! We had a fire, ate camping food, slept outside, used tons of bug spray, and my new friend Amanda even taught me how to read "love fortunes!" (I feel like mine was pretty accurate... ha)

In honor of this camping extravaganza, Molly and I bought new sleeping bags, mostly because neither one of us owned one. Of course we had to give them a test run before we took them out into the wild woods of Maryland!

It's been a lot of fun here and I have plenty of adventures to tell about, but that will have to wait until later!

The Time Has Come

The time has come. I am making my blog private. Not that I don't want you to read it or anything, I just want to control who reads it and who doesn't. Just let me know if you want to read my blog! Leave a comment, slip a note under my door, however you want to do it is fine with me!

This Song

So, most of you have probably heard this song. I'll confess, I didn't know who Michael Bublé was until recently. Yes, I have been made fun of.

This video is just adorable though.

Since I've Been Home

Alright, I am home and pretty happy to be here!

Since I have been home I have been trying new things. I started running, and discovered the purpose for wearing running shoes at my feet and shins' expense. Lesson learned. (Socks may be a smart idea as well...) Yesterday as I was squatting to catch my out of shape breathe, an older man stopped in his car to ask me if I was alright! I must have looked pretty bad if people are stopping to ask if I am alright. I was okay, just exercising. Maybe I will have to run in the mornings when people are less friendly.

I got out a bike, which is a huge step for me. Now I just have to hunt down the bike pump. Bikes are a little scary for me. I generally just fall off of them. I used to be able to ride one. But you know what, everyone who says that once you learn how to ride a bike, you never forget, has obviously never met me! However, I am determined! You can't participate in only 2 events in a triathlon for goodness sake... Hopefully I won't die before I get to become a triath-athlete! Can I hear a "hey-oh?!"

Now I just need to brush up on my swimming. A swimsuit would probably be a good idea to get though. No one honestly needs to see me splashing around in my skibbies!

And on the agenda for today is sewing! So much fabric, so little time!

Anyway, I'm really enjoying spending time with my dad and the cat. It's really entertaining to watch those two wrestle. Haha! It's really funny!

Home

I'm going home! In 7 days!

Let me just say, I'm excited, and relieved, and happy, and ready.

Things to do on the checklist before I go home:

• Hymns Final
• Greek and Roman Lit Final
• Pick up Portfolio
• Pack
• Play

This Article. Perfect.

Sitting here in my bedroom postponing some homework, I found this article with one of my roommates. Funny enough, it fits my life situation. Number 1 is what happened to me. Never fear though. I have moved on. (I think the article was somewhere on Yahoo!)

The 10 Worst Ways to Break Up With Someone

10. ON VACATION: Who would you most likely want to be stuck on a deserted island with? Not someone who's just told you "it's not working out," we're quite sure. Not only have you now wasted your time and money, but you can’t leave the situation easily without added plane fares and stress. If this happens to you, break away and turn your trip into a rejuvenating self-improvement retreat... you'll need it.

9. IN A TEXT MESSAGE: Ah, the text. The modern-day version of the Post-It. Too wussy to do it in person? Text away, wuss.

8. ON FACEBOOK: Nothing like logging on to find your loved one tagged in a compromising photo with a complete stranger...to you, at least. Why this is called the "World Wide Web" and some people can't figure out how they got busted is beyond us. Besides, it's way too trendy these days - be original, people!

7. AROUND THE FAMILY: Don't make it a family affair - you'll seriously regret it. Whether at a sibling’s wedding (see #6), a family vacation (see #10), or meeting the family for the first time (really!?), this one is clearly ridden with minefields that will lead to nothing but trouble. If this happens to you, at least you've got your "people" nearby to protect you, support you, and promptly kick your brand-new-ex to the curb.

6. AT A WEDDING: The wedding. The defining moment for any couple. The pinnacle of celebrating relationships and love. The day they'll remember as the best day of their lives. Forever. Guess the pressure got to you, huh?

5. AT YOUR "SPECIAL PLACE": That restaurant where we had our first date...the bar where you told me you loved me...the bench in the park where we'd sit every Sunday... Why on earth would anyone think this is a good idea? Let the special place stay special. Just like there are other fish in the sea, there are other places in the whole world. If they can't find another place, you should definitely find another fish.

4. IN BED: Come again? Talk about ruining the mood. At least wait until you're clothed. This one is so embarrassing that we're having visions of the recurring dream where you're on stage in front of everyone you know in nothing but your underwear. Except you're not even wearing underwear.

3. ON VALENTINE'S DAY: There are 365 days in the year, and ONE dedicated to celebrating love. It's not like you can't claim you didn't "know" it was Valentine's Day - the stores, the ads, the cards have been in your face for weeks. Pick another day. It's that simple. Don't ruin this day forever for someone, unless you're really in need of some bad karma. (New Year's Eve and Birthdays received honorable mentions.)

2. BY DOING NOTHING: It was tough not giving this the Number 1 honor, and we're still not sure. Being forced to figure something out by yourself is sometimes the hardest and most humiliating thing of all. Coming home to find your love gone, with no note, no calls, no anything may just be the worst way to handle a breakup. It is definitely the WIMPIEST. Just remember that. You do this, you are weak.

1. BY CHEATING: Sadly, this is the most common response we received - and the stories ran the gamut,from the one-night-stand, to the ongoing affair, to the ongoing affair that you only found out about via "the new person," to the unspeakable announcement that your boyfriend or girlfriend is engaged to someone else (WHAT?!?). To these we simply say, come ON. Just break it off before you cheat. You won't hurt our feelings, we promise.

The bottom line to all of this? If this happened to you, we can 100% guarantee that you are better off without this person in your life. If THIS is the way they think is appropriate to end a relationship, imagine how they would handle life's other challenges. Not well, we're guessing. Time for you to bounce back and move forwardto someone who deserves you and your love.

This Is Not an April Fools Post

I was stumbling around the internet looking for something to soothe my soul (still happy by the way), when I stumbled into urbandecay.com. It's my favorite brand of makeup, although, it's usually a little too expensive, hence the reason why i only buy it once a year (if that) and ogle it the rest of the time. Luckily the eyeshadow lasts forever, so I don't feel the need to buy it more than that. Anyway, as I was perusing, I found a dandy of a product! It's called All Nighter. Can you guess what it is?

It's a makeup setting spray! Fun, huh! You spray it on and your makeup stays put through humidity, sweat, hot-tubbing, etc.

If you're looking for something to get me, just because you love me, the All Nighter spray is a good option to consider... Or you could get it for yourself and make me jealous. That's cool too...

Concerts Part 3

The videos are too big for me to post them all in one spot... Oops.

Anyway, these kiddos are playing with the Miniature Tigers on Monday too! I'm excited. They have a really FUN sound. Also, they are called The Morning Benders.

Waiting for a war - The Morning Benders

On a side note - How am I supposed to wear a sundress if it is SNOWING?

Concerts Part 2

Next Monday, I'm going to another concert! Wooh!

I went to this band last year around this time when they came with Bishop Allen. So fun, so fun, so much fun! Pretty sure I got to hug the lead singer. Pretty sure.

Oh, they're called The Miniature Tigers.

Cannibal Queen - Miniature Tigers

Concerts Part 1

I love music, okay. I do.

I went to a house party last Friday and these guys were playin. SO fun!

Sweat Swat Swote - Elizabethan Report (ER)

Another Song, Another Day

This song isn't new. I have loved it for a while. But today, it is perfect for how I am feeling.

I'm feeling good.

I'm feeling tan and sassy!

Just so you know, it's a little repetitive. And loud, make sure you turn down your volume...

Can I Get Get Get by Junior Senior

It's too bad that my cactus isn't feeling nearly as spunky as I am today though. It looks a little water-logged and dead.

A Song For My Current Mood

Recently a lot of things that I wouldn't exactly classify as "pleasant" have been happening. Right now, this song is nearly perfect.

Content Warning: This song is funny. But definitely not nice. Plus, I'm not sure if it swears or not. Though, I don't think it does.

Never Gonne Happen by Lily Allen

Shampoo

I recently stocked up on shampoo since I didn't want to run out and run around with a grease ball for a head. The Aveeno brand shampoo was on sale for way cheaper than the Dove that I normally use. So, I thought I would take a chance. That's always pretty risky for me (even powder smells smell disgusting on me, trust me, you don't want to put that to the test). But, my wallet told me to just give it a try, after all, it's Aveeno, it can't be that bad, right?

WRONG!!!

I have been using this new shampoo for about 2 weeks now, and I smell like a man. A MAN. A very good smelling man, but a man none the less. I am not okay with that. 

Bad Shampoo

Good Shampoo

Sunshine?

Dear Utah,
I know the sun shines here. Please let it come out and play. Not just for a minute or two, and definitely not only at 8 am. My cactus and I need some sunshine.
Thanks,
Ruthie

Cactus Update

So I have an update on the cactus. It's alive! Brian told me that my little cactus buddy was still alive! Thank goodness for brothers that know whether or not a plant is alive. Obviously I do not.

Here are a couple pictures of the little guy. He is struggling, but alive. Phew!                                    

Yes, it is in a water bottle. And yes, I did label it.

(beware: this cactus will poke you in the bum if you get too close)

Bugs In Your Pants

Long story short, I've been lied to a lot in my life. Yeah, other tragic things have happened to me (boo-hoo, I'll live), but the thing that hurts the most is when the people I care about lie to me. Not the funny lies. The lies that aren't funny, that weren't meant to be funny, the lies that are meant to save your skin from my stinging honesty.
Let me just say that I am an honest person. I lie, occasionally. But ONLY if it's funny.

I'm just tired of being lied to. It feels worse than having bugs in your pants.

Just sayin'.

You've Got Some Egg on Your Face

Thank goodness for a fun weekend! Kelci and I went to her house in Tooele for the weekend. We did a sugar scrub, and then and eggy facial. I'm not sure what it did for the good of our faces, but it was fun. And pretty nasty. I won't lie. We found quite a bit of egg in our hair the next day...

Here are some pictures of our faces!      

Friends

Well, should be easy to do. Right?

Answers

(Disclaimer: Normally, I am funny. This post is not that funny. You have been warned.)

In the past few months, a lot has happened in my life. A lot of good. A little of... hasn't felt so good. Pretty much everything that has happened has given rise to questions, which led to fears, which led to... stress.
It hasn't been anything that I've felt that I couldn't handle. But the cumulation of everything was wearing on me.
As most of you know I belong to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. My beliefs are an integral part of my life. For heaven's sake, I go to BYU, an LDS school! We pray in my Spanish class! Yes, in spanish. I like it. I enjoy praying in my classes, I feel like it makes learning easier for me.
Anyway, I have dedicating the past 5 or so Sundays to fasting and praying for answers to my questions and comfort in my fears and stress.
This past Sunday, everything I needed to hear and feel hit me like a fly wacking into the windshield of a MAC truck speeding down a long stretch through Texas. (If you didn't catch that, I felt like I got hit really hard) I cried almost the entire day. I kid you not.
I feel reassured in my beliefs, in my hopes, in my dreams, in everything.
My life is blessed. Yes, there are hard things. Yes, there will continue to be hard things. But I know that I don't have to go through any of it by myself. There will always be someone to wipe my tears and comfort my fears. There will also always be someone there to rejoice with me when good things come along the way.
I have a strong testimony that all of our prayers are heard and answered.

Please understand that my religious beliefs are dear to me. It is not something that I normally share, not because I am embarrassed or think that it is silly to believe, but because it is so special to me and . But I felt that at this moment, this was something that I needed to share.

I am happy. Things can be good. Really.

Life

"There are only two or three human stories, and they go on repeating themselves as fiercely as if they had never happened before." - Willa Cather

I hope my human story is fierce enough to survive the germ warfare I am experiencing until the end of April. I should be safe after that.

Green Thumb

I killed a cactus. I think. Pictures to follow.

But seriously, how do you kill a cactus?? I blame it on the dark hole of an apartment I live in. That, and the smell.

A Realistic Tale

I was talking to my roommate today, in hopes of avoiding real life for a few more minutes. I told her this story.

Once upon a time, there lived a young lady.

She used to take great pride in getting ready for the day, she felt as though it was wholly useful and good to do so.

Then she met a young gentleman and they fell in love.

They frolicked and laughed and felt as though they would never want to part.

A few months went by and that young wonderful gentleman needed to leave.

The beautiful young woman fell into a dark place in her soul. A place where soap and brushes did not exist.

Every time the young gentleman would write a letter or send an owl she felt a glimmer of hope.

She would climb out of that deep dank and dirty place in her soul and shower.

Unfortunately, the effect wouldn't last very long.

The young lady lost all of her friends, except for the owl that carried the correspondence between the two love stricken young persons.

Then one day, the young lady received word that the young gentleman was returning to her!

She leaped for joy, which resulted in all of her crusty grimy clothes disintegrating, forcing her to a realization of how disgustingly dirty she was.

The young lady decided it was best to shower.

And she did.

The End.

If my cut/paste had worked, you would have seen my roommate's funny comments.

Long story short, I'm going to take a shower.