I'm back in Provo. And I'm not gonna lie, I was not excited to be back. And I am still not excited to be back. I am, however, excited to leave after April! Sweet Freedom, come to me!I made a New Year's resolution. I am going to try to be nice. Honestly I am. I'm trying not to make little snide remarks about other people, or gossip, or blah blah blah. Either way, I'm trying to be nicer. But really, it wasn't just because it was a new year, I just feel like it would be a good thing to do. And let me tell you, it's definitely easier to say that I'm going to be nice than actually BE nice.
It seems like as soon as I started trying harder to have good feelings toward others, I just have worse feelings towards some of them. Like, today, for instance, I walked into a room, and it felt like all of the good that was inside of me, left. And I was just standing there, quivering with anger, or loathing, that's probably too strong
of a word... But, you get the gist, right? In some cases though, it has become easier to be nicer. I was very surprised. Very. Very, very, surprised.
of a word... But, you get the gist, right? In some cases though, it has become easier to be nicer. I was very surprised. Very. Very, very, surprised. I knew that this was going to be hard for me because I have tried to do it before. And, obviously it was hard, because, here I am again. A little meany out trying to be a goody. Bah. Cross your fingers for me, eh.
I have devised a plan to keep my sanity. I will be studying at the Provo library from now on. Okay, not Mondays or Tuesdays, but the rest of the week is all about the library. From 5 pm to 9 pm, I'm there.
I am really glad that I got to see my family over Christmas. They brought me back from my world of bad smells and imminent and impending doom. I wish I could have all of them here with me. I don't know what I would do without my family. They're all pretty awesome. Personally, I think that they're the bees-knees. Yeah.
3 comments:
Ruthie! You're going to BE nice? NICE!
Hum... maybe I should make a goal to be nice too...
nah... it'd be too hard. I will continue making snide remarks, enough for the both of us ;)
You ARE the bees-knees.
It is definitely hard to be nice. I have been trying to not get so annoyed by things that other people do but I feel like they just make it too hard.
And as for the Provo thing, just try to enjoy yourself while you're there. I'm trying to identify all the things I dislike about it so i can work on not disliking it as much. We'll see how it works.
You really didn't need to use a photograph of an unknown child for this blog entry. I have one of you with the very same expression that would fit the bill. Hmmph. Keep trying to be nice. It looks better on your sweet face.
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