It's raining!

I love rain. Rain is happy. It's wet. It smells good. It makes everything, except animals, smell good.

I've missed the rain. I'm glad it is raining. I missed the puddles. I like walking through them.

How could anything so pretty make a person anything but happy? (Okay, floods are bad. But a little rain is wonderful.)


Rain makes me forget the hard things in my life. And that makes it easier to remember the good things. It just seems so harmless. It's like some big wet blanket that clouds out everything that I don't want to think about. It's pretty great. And so, I'm going to enjoy it.

The Turning Point

The first two weeks back in Utah were, well, not anything that I would like to repeat. Ever. But! I have a good feeling about the rest of the semester.

Hopefully I will not get sick anymore.
Hopefully I will not have anymore crazy trips to the emergency room. (Please, don't ask.)
Hopefully my hearing will come all of the way back. (It almost is.)
Hopefully I will make it to all of my classes.


I feel a change in the weather (not literally, it's cold, very cold). It's like my Mary Poppins is coming and life is going to be "practically perfect." Even though I don't really know where in the world I will be after April. Of course I have an idea, and a tentative plan. But as my mother continues to remind me, sometimes plans change. For whatever reason. I guess I'm alright with that?

Anyway. I am determined to have fun. And I am confident that I will have fun. I already am having fun. Determination is great! And Happiness is, after all, the American way.

I'm Back...

I'm back in Provo. And I'm not gonna lie, I was not excited to be back. And I am still not excited to be back. I am, however, excited to leave after April! Sweet Freedom, come to me!

I made a New Year's resolution. I am going to try to be nice. Honestly I am. I'm trying not to make little snide remarks about other people, or gossip, or blah blah blah. Either way, I'm trying to be nicer. But really, it wasn't just because it was a new year, I just feel like it would be a good thing to do. And let me tell you, it's definitely easier to say that I'm going to be nice than actually BE nice.

It seems like as soon as I started trying harder to have good feelings toward others, I just have worse feelings towards some of them. Like, today, for instance, I walked into a room, and it felt like all of the good that was inside of me, left. And I was just standing there, quivering with anger, or loathing, that's probably too strong of a word... But, you get the gist, right? In some cases though, it has become easier to be nicer. I was very surprised. Very. Very, very, surprised.

I knew that this was going to be hard for me because I have tried to do it before. And, obviously it was hard, because, here I am again. A little meany out trying to be a goody. Bah. Cross your fingers for me, eh.

I have devised a plan to keep my sanity. I will be studying at the Provo library from now on. Okay, not Mondays or Tuesdays, but the rest of the week is all about the library. From 5 pm to 9 pm, I'm there.

I am really glad that I got to see my family over Christmas. They brought me back from my world of bad smells and imminent and impending doom. I wish I could have all of them here with me. I don't know what I would do without my family. They're all pretty awesome. Personally, I think that they're the bees-knees. Yeah.