Spinster-Hood

Here it goes. I have been thinking a lot about life and what I can do in the world that would be of some good, you know, the kind of thing that improves the quality of life for others. I want to make a difference. Seriously, I have given this a lot of thought. And I know that if I stuck with shoe design I could be happy, but let's face it, as wonderful as beautiful shoes are, they don't make a difference in the long run. (Just so you are aware, that is a painful thing for me to admit.)

Anyway, I was talking with my mom the other night and I'm not entirely how we got onto the topic, but I started ranting about how I felt like so many women did not understand that they could do so much with their lives, and that even in today's society, women are still under appreciated. She told me to get down off of my soap-box because she didn't need to be convinced. But it made me realize that this was something that I was passionate about. My mom suggested that I look into Women's Studies. Now. This is something that my mother would never bring up without some provocation or prompting. I talked to her today, and she has no idea why she said it, or how she came up with the idea. Anyway, BYU has a Women's Studies minor, and I have been looking at everything that I can get my little hands on. And I am hooked. Completely hooked. I talked to an advisor in the Women's Studies department and it just made me wish that I had done this all along.

Anyone that knows me knows that I don't generally have good feelings toward school and learning. But, now, I have found something that I am genuinely excited about. I just want to dive right in and soak it all up! All day today I was just bubbling over with excitement, it was hard to think about anything else!

So here is the plan for my bachelors degree: BFA in Studio Art, and a minor in Women's Studies.
Tentative plan for my masters: MFA in Studio Art, and either an emphasis in Women's Studies or a second masters degree. (This could possibly make my life miserable. But as long as I take classes that are relevant, I can always change my mind.)
And the grand possibility that is making my head spin like a top: a PhD in Women's Studies.

Ah! But ahhhh! Wouldn't it be so mind-blowingly amazing if I was a professor in both Art and Women's Studies! Hah! Yes! Yes it would! And that's what I'm going for. And I am really happy about this prospect. Really happy.

I am going to be an awesome professor. I can feel it in my bones.

I know that some may fear that I will end up being a spinster. But don't worry, if that's what happens, I will be a cool spinster. Never fear. I'll get a dog.

And contrary to whatever your beliefs about extreme feminist ideals, I don't hate men. I am quite a fan of them. I still want to get married and be a mother. In all honesty, I do. But, because of who I am, I think this could make me be able to do those things better.

P.S. I've been reading a bunch of stuff by Charlotte Perkins Gilman. She is a feminist writer, and it isn't what I had expected. She writes about things that are sensible. Her writings, from what I have read so far, are focused on how women should be respected as people. Pretty smart, huh. I really like her short stories The Yellow Wallpaper and If I Were a Man. I love the ending of If I Were a Man. I would definitely recommend reading these stories.

So, So, I Lied...

In my sincerest of voices, I apologize. To you. And you.

I have come to the realization that, as excruciatingly fun it would be, it is futile for me to stay in little Provo for spring and summer. I wanted to stay, but I just can't. Sad.

My baby heart is not that happy. But, I won't lie again, I am kind of happy.

I miss my family, minus Brian, because he lives 2 blocks away. (I like that.)

The east coast is FAR superior. If you go, you will understand.

There is no conceivable way that I would be able to pay to live here all summer, take classes, eat, and still be able to afford to be here in the Fall. I'd like to graduate. Not gonna lie.

It's always good to get away from wherever you happen to be stuck. Mostly because when you end up going back to where you were stuck, you don't feel so stuck anymore. And I feel a little bit stuck right now.

But, in a desperate attempt to stay in contact with people that suck at keeping in touch with their nearest and dearest as I do, I am going to reactivate my Facebook. But ONLY for the summer. Got it? Good.

Plus, I have a phone, and I definitely know how to use it. Hopefully, my friends, so do y'all.

Maybe I can convince my parents that it is alright if they move, and I can bring home a puppy for them to love while I am home, and then they won't miss me so much when I'm gone. Because, let's face it, puppies are pretty dang awesome. So are old dogs. Canines. They're great!
And so, I will be able to watch fireworks from the Pagoda on the 4th of July. And my daddy will let me drive. Hazzah!

Sunshine and Tan-Lines!

I officially have a tan line. And it's only the first week of March! Hallelujah-to-ya! I took a nap outside earlier in the week and my arms certainly benefited from the sun.

But on the poopoo side, it's supposed to snow sometime this week. How can it go to 60-something to SNOW? Who knows. I don't really care yet, I'm enjoying the discovery of my tan lines!

Staying on the sunny side of life... life is good right now. I'm not feeling terribly stressed. I am not entirely sure why things feel so good, but I'm really enjoying the feeling. And I'm really hoping that it lasts.

Also, I'm pretty sure that I am coming back to BYU in the Fall, instead of trying to work to go gallivanting across the world to go to school in Italy next year. That will just have to wait until after I graduate with my BFA. So I'll go for the master's program and save about.... $60,000. Sounds good to me. Especially since I don't have anywhere near that much money. Plus, I don't hate Provo nearly as much right now.

All I need now is a dog.

Side note: I was talking to some folks in my German class today and I commented that I couldn't spell in English anymore. Then one of the girls said something like she agreed and it went on and she told us that she thought that we should just get rid of the letter "c" in English. We don't need it. I, for some reason, felt very attached to the letter "c" and felt the need to defend its place in our 26 letter alphabet. So I said something like, "Well, what about kitty?" They all just looked at me funny and then one girl said, "Valiant effort." Valiant effort indeed. Go me.

Happy

I got to play with a dog today! Okay, it was in a cage, but I got to pet it.

Twice.

Happy.