Fried Chicken

I now know how fried chicken feels, if it could feel that is.

Last night at work I was changing the oil in the fryer and I caught my arm on a greasy pipe. It was hot. My arm turned a really cool shade of red. Of course, this was at the beginning of my shift. Woohoo.

But as the night went on my arm kept on burning, it felt like my skin was sizzling. Gross-tastic.

So now today my skin is bubbling up and actually looks like it has been fried. It makes me want to puke a little.

The end.

The Story of My Life

This sort of thing happens to me. A lot.

Recently I was talking with one of my guy friends when he popped into my apartment to say hello or something. He kept hesitating in saying this, telling me that he wanted to tell me something but he didn't know how to word it right. Now, when anyone says this sort of thing, especially when they add in that they are trying to say it so it sounds like a compliment and not something offensive, I just want them to SPIT IT OUT. I'm not that sensitive. I like to laugh. I can laugh at myself. I can laugh at other people... or with other people...?

Anyway what he finally told me was something like "If our personalities were different, I would totally be interested in you..." BAH! The funny thing is, that if our personalities were a little bit different, I would probably be interested in him too. We kept talking for a little bit and I looked at him and said, "(friend's name), maybe someday our personalities will be different..." We looked at each other, and busted out laughing.

I think that it was funny that he felt the need to tell me that. He's funny. I'm glad that we're friends. But, this sort of situation seems to come up a lot in my life. There's always that one "something" that is preventing things moving anywhere. Any insights? Please share. Please. Awkward moments gravitate toward me.

Ratigan

So tonight I reminded myself of Ratigan, from The Great Mouse Detective. For those of you who have not seen it, hang your head in shame. This movie used to (still does) terrify me, simply because of the Rat. Here is his theme song. I am not kidding. My ugly mean side reared its nasty head. Don't worry though. I turned back into Basil of Baker Street. Okay, so maybe a little less self-absorbed. But, now that I think of it, perhaps I am more self-interested than self-absorbed... maybe both. Who knows.

Ratigan, The World's Greatest Criminal Mind

Basil of Baker Street, The Great Mouse Detective

Hair Booger

For the past month and a half, one of the bathroom sinks has been spewing back all of the water that we try to put down it. It was disgusting. The sink would get totally coated in this yellowy brown film and it smelled. No use trying to spit toothpaste down that sink.

Last night, I braved the sink, thought I would just clean it, so it wouldn't make me gag if I dropped something in it. Again. I looked down the drain and saw something in there that looked unusual. I looked in the other sink and it looked clear. So I grabbed a plastic fork from Del Taco that we had been stashing in a drawer and dug it out. What I found was seriously disgusting. Beyond grotesque.

It looked like this. About that long too. But what made it worse was that it was COVERED in a blue-green sludgy slimy skin. Naaaaaaaaaaasty. Of course I had to show my roommate that was home.

But now the sink drains and it doesn't matter where the toothpaste falls, as long as it is actually in the sink.

Moral of the story: Hair is gross when it's stuck in the drain.

Buillon, Bands, and B-

Buillon - Prank on Roommate #2 was going to be good. So good. I put a cube of chicken buillon in the shower head. She was going to smell like chicken all day. I cut the cube up into a few little pieces because our shower head is weird and you can't really take the whole thing off. So, I stuffed the crumbles into the holes and then put the bigger chunks into the water pressure screw-thing. However, my evil plot didn't work because the water pressure was weird when she tried to take a shower, and of course no one knows how to fix it so the big chunks of buillon fell out. But the crumbles had to have gotten her a little bit, just not as much as I had hoped.

Now my roommates all know of my plots, so I am going to have to take a little break from the pranks, just to save myself. Roommate #1 has been sneaky lately. She tried to plot with me to make sure she would be able to save herself from pranks, but I found out that she made the same deal with Roommate #2. Oh, she should have known. I am too smart for these games. I will rule. Bahahahahaha!

Anyway, I have an idea for prank on Roommate #3. It's too funny. She's such a deep sleeper, I can pull it off. Hehehe.

But I have to be careful, because Roommate #1 has threatened the way I smell. She said that if I did something mean that I wouldn't smell like myself for a long time... Creepy. Besides, I wouldn't ever do anything really mean. Just funny. Duh.

Roommate #1 is still a little miffed by her IcyHot bumbum. Ahahah. I'm so glad it was her that popped that squat!

Bands - I am learning to play the guitar. Mostly because I think it will improve the quality of my life. I'm a rock star. Basically.

Bah! If the shoes don't make me famous, I will be famous in some other way. This can work.

B- - Okay, I have a mattress in my living room. It's great. I think it's the best spot to sit in the room. So, I didn't really have anything to say about the B-. I just wanted to write it.

Oh. I have a job. It's seriously going to make a dent in my social life. a) Because I smell like fried everything and a hot dog (the buns are HUGE) b) I work every freaking Friday night c) I work by myself d) it's in a bowling alley e) I wear a hat.

My job's redeeming quality is that it pays me. Not very well, but it pays actual money and not in bartered things. I'm okay with that.

I will be looking for other jobs, and additional jobs. Maybe this job isn't B-. It is C-. Probably.

Let the Games Begin

I guess if you don't know there is IcyHot on the toilet seat, it burns more. Bahahaha.

Roommate #1 never knew what hit her. But she figured it out, that only made it better. This is gonna be good. Oh so good.

One down, two to go.

I've Been Tagged

How could I not honor a tag. Especially from Breezi.

The rules: Answer the following questions with one word answers and pass it on to seven others.

Here are the questions:
1. Where is your cell phone? bed
2. Where is your significant other? somewhere
3. Your hair color? Blondish
4. Your mother? wonderful
5. Your father? wise
6. Your favorite thing? life
7. Your dream last night? bizarre
8. Your dream/goal? shoes
9. The room you're in? front
10. Your hobby? music
11. Your fear? stinking
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? happy
13. Where were you last night? home
14. What you're not? old
15. One of your wish-list items? dog
16. Where you grew up? Pennsylvania
17. The last thing you did? cooked
18. What are you wearing? blue
19. Your TV? Nonexistent
20. Your pet? Taz
21. Your computer? handy
22. Your mood? mellow
23. Missing someone? always
24. Your car? wishful
25. Something you're not wearing? socks
26. Favorite store? Anthropologie
27. Your summer? interesting
28. Love someone? yes
29. Your favorite color? orange
30. When is the last time you laughed? today
31. Last time you cried? Thursday

sadly, I don't know seven people (that have a blog...) so, if you want to do it, be my guest.